Stages Of Grief And Divorce

The loss of a marriage is traumatic. People going through a divorce experience a wide range of emotions, but a common underlying feeling is one of mourning. Mourning the loss of what the marriage was and what they hoped it would be. Spouses initiating the divorce often express the wish that they took action sooner while the other spouse often feels surprised and offended that they were not given more notice or a chance to save the relationship.

It’s no secret that people process emotions differently and at different speeds. It’s not uncommon for one spouse to come to terms with the divorce sooner than the other. This is particularly true when one of the spouses has been thinking about divorce for longer than the other.

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To the extent possible, it’s helpful to have a compassionate view of each spouse’s emotional process. People going through a divorce may behave in irrational and unpredictable ways. It’s easy to reduce them to caricatures of their emotions: “he is an angry person” or “she is in denial,” but those caricatures don’t encourage the necessary compassion and patience to amicably dissolve a marriage. Instead, they encourage resentment and impatience. While there are plenty of cases where a spouse is harmful, abusive, or otherwise a threat to another’s emotional or physical wellbeing, plenty of divorces involve kind people whose relationship didn’t work.

A Swiss psychiatrist created the five stages of grief in 1969. Also known as the Kubler-Ross model, the five stages of grief were originally created to describe the emotional process of terminally ill patients. The five stages of grief are comprised of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages are not linear, not everyone goes through each stage, and they have different durations for different people, but these are the most common experiences of those going through grief.

Everyone experiences and expresses emotions differently. What I’d like to illustrate is how the five stages of grief apply to divorce and provide some examples.

Denial During Divorce

In this stage, people are unwilling or unable to accept the loss that has taken place. They may feel that what has happened is not truly real, that they will soon wake up from a bad dream and everything will return to normal. Denial is usually a temporary defense mechanism that allows the individual to cope with and survive their grief. Instead of allowing all of the feelings of grief to wash over them at once, they deny it and stagger its full impact.

Anger During Divorce

Once people are able to accept the loss that has occurred, they may begin to feel anger. This anger is often misdirected at family, friends, or even the person who has been lost. The griever is searching desperately for someone to blame. Mental health professionals actually encourage this stage, claiming that it is a natural and necessary response to loss and the more someone truly feels anger, the more quickly they will be able to heal.

Anger may complicate a divorce. It often manifests itself in a spouse acting spitefully, and sometimes contrary to their own self-interest. Anger can be seen in inflammatory pleadings, needless and excessive discovery requests, and in taking baseless positions just to harass the other spouse. Anger often begets anger. One spouse’s unsettling actions may lead to retaliation, and thus a cycle of anger and retribution. This is an easy way for an otherwise simple case to spiral into contentious litigation.

Bargaining During Divorce

In this stage, people beg a higher power for a reversal or postponement of loss with a promise to change their behavior for the better – something along the lines of, “If you prevent this loss, I promise to be the best version of myself and never complain again.” People may make themselves believe that they can avoid grief through this type of negotiation. Guilt is often a large component of the bargaining phase, with people often asking themselves endless “what if” questions of how they could have prevented their grief.

Depression During Divorce

Once an individual has accepted that anger and bargaining will not reverse the loss, they often sink into a depression where they acknowledge the reality of the loss and their own helplessness to change it. People may withdraw from relationships or activities, or find it difficult to get out of bed. They may also blame themselves for causing their loss.

Acceptance During Divorce

Finally, grieving people will enter a stage of acceptance where they have processed their emotions, accepted the reality of the loss, and are once again able to engage in daily life and plan for their future. This stage is a time for adjustment and readjustment, with good days and bad, as people evolve and come to terms with their new normal.

What Can You Do If You Don’t Like The Judge’s Decision In Your Divorce?

Happy endings aren’t common in divorce, but many spouses are at least able to emerge with a sense of hope for the future. They recognize the need for compromise and may even take satisfaction in the small victories they’ve scored along the way.

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Sometimes, however, divorces do not go at all as planned. In the aftermath of this difficult process, ex-spouses may feel they were treated unfairly in court – and they may resent the seemingly lopsided compromises they’ve been forced to make. These decisions aren’t exactly eased to reverse, but it may be possible in select circumstances, as detailed below.

File An Appeal

If you believe that the judge presiding over your case failed to follow established legal principles or lacked evidence to back up key decisions, your case may be eligible for appeal. If you choose to pursue this path, your case will be referred to the Court of Appeals for review. During this process, the original decision will likely remain in effect, unless a stay pending appeal is issued. Given the strict nature of the appellate system, it is critical that you meet every deadline, appeal on a valid basis, and work with a skilled attorney who understands the complexities of this process.

Seek Modification

Down the line, it may be possible to change the judge’s original decision, assuming your financial situation or other aspects of your daily life change. Modifications may involve parenting time, child support, or spousal maintenance. Unfortunately, divorce decisions regarding property division cannot be altered unless extraordinary circumstances exist.

Whether you desire an appeal or modification of your original divorce agreement, you’ll find the process far easier when you have a trusted divorce lawyer on your side like at Paducah Divorce Lawyers

Importance of Family Law: What You Should Know

A law is definitely not made just for any kind of unimportant reason. A law is created in order to create harmony, peace, and balance in a society. If there is absolutely no law existing, chaos and disorder would dominate the entire world. Just think of the movie “The Purge” coming in reality, you would certainly not want that right? The law is extremely important since it acts as a rule for every person, community, and organization to the right conduct and right things accepted in society.

You may think that the law is a trap for some civilians who are not knowledgeable about the law, but absolutely not. Rules and regulations are generally posted in public areas for citizens to check out and understand, if no rules are put up, you can go to your nearest government agency and make a complaint. However, no one should be ignorant of the law because it is taught to us in secondary school, and no government must fail to let it’s people become unaware of the law.

There are many things that the law conceals, coming from criminal law to private law. In case you disobeyed the law, the law will punish you. There certainly are lots of laws around the globe regarding the homeowner and the law. Law can be met in a lot of categories as to why us civilians should always become knowledgeable regarding the law. As to what the popular quotation states that “Ignorance of the law excuses no one.”

One part that the law covers up is the family law. The family law deals with the section of family matters like marital relationship, divorce, separation, child custody, child support, adoption, alimony, and various other related family issues. This law is developed because certain families tend to have issues and issues, as to what I have mentioned earlier, the law is created to provide peace to community. If a family has issues or other related problems, the law is consistently here to assist them solve anything they want to be fixed. The law directs the family on the correct path. Now, what is actually the importance of family law? The importance of this area of law will be stated below.

For marriage
Emotionally and emotionally thinking, marriage is not really needed. Marriage meaning in legitimate form. You can be together with a man or woman you really love for life even though if you don’t get married. But because of law, they created a law to help make marriages legitimate, to submit forms and show that you truly are married to this important individual. Now the importance of the marriage in legal documents is to provide both people to get benefits, benefits like when the other partner dies, all riches will go to his/her loved one, and several other benefits are created for married couples.

Child custody
When a married couple gets divorced, the law is there to choose whether the children will go to the mother or go to the dad. But normally what takes place is that the child will certainly go to the mother’s custody.

In some cases, there would be married couples who fail to love each other anymore or aren’t fit to be living with each other that’s why it would leave them to having a divorce. Some countries don’t support divorce especially in countries wherein spirituality is powerful.

If you plan on asking about your legal rights as a family, it is better to seek advice from a Family and Divorce Lawyer who is trustworthy highly experienced. You can find them here

How To Pick A Divorce Attorney

Finding an attorney to handle a divorce or pressing family issue can be a very stressful experience. It can be very difficult to keep your perspective and empirical judgement intact while trying to find someone who can handle a matter for you that is so intensely personal and may have a lot of your future riding on it.  That’s why it’s important to try to separate yourself, at least temporarily from your emotions while you do your research.  Here are some quick tips to help you navigate your way through the process:

Take Some Preparatory Notes

Find a quiet moment to think about the questions you have about your situation and write them down.  This may seem simple but many people don’t do it, and instead they “wing it” and let their conversation meander, sometimes in the direction of the attorney they are speaking to.  Having your questions clearly laid out on a piece of paper will help keep you focused, and ensure that you have the data you need to compare attorneys, because you should speak to at least three.

Listen Carefully

Again, this sounds simple, but it’s not.  People, in general, are not great listeners.  But really pay attention to the person you are interviewing (because it is, in fact, a job interview, and you are the boss).  Listen to hear how the attorney answers your questions. Listen to the style, listen to the approach, and mostly, listen to how he or she answers your question. If they don’t answer crisply and succinctly, how will they communicate effectively in court?  And listen also to see if they listen to you.  The attorney should be patient and interested in your perspective. If you have any trouble talking to them on a simple preliminary phone call, how it will feel when you are in the middle of your case and something challenging crops up?

Find Out About Fee Structure

Ensure that you have mechanisms in place to resolve financial issues with your attorney should the costs go beyond what you were expecting. The worst place to be is in a situation where your case is heating up, and you can’t afford to pay your attorney.  Attorneys that are not being paid timely will inevitably start to be conflicted about your case, and you may not get their best, since they may be resentful, even if they don’t say it.

Ask Around

Get referrals if at all possible.  Try to find out what you can about an attorney’s track record.  Many times attorney-client privilege and other protocols and laws that are in place may make this hard, but do what you can to get a sense of your attorney’s success rate. You may have to ask around, but if the attorney has had great victories or great losses, you will begin to find them once you start looking.

A lot of things go into finding a good family lawyer, and this was just meant to be a start.  Watch this space for more information about divorce attorneys.